Author Topic: A new version of "The Oath" in English  (Read 2016 times)

Ironside

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I took a poem written about 110 years ago and translated it. I think current translations are terrible as they go for simple word by word translation.

I must confess that I have modernise the poem in the process to make it universally understood. I think I decoded that poem as well as Poles in 1905s were going symbolic, winking to the reader and so on. I think it is what she (the author) really mean.

Very well know Polish poem, "ROTA" (The Oath). What do you think?

We won’t give up our native land
We won’t forsake our tongue
We are the nation, Polish folk
The Royal race of Piast
We won’t give in to any foe.

So help us God

To the last drop of blood
We shall defend our Freedom.
Till into pieces and dust
Enemies might shall shatter.
Every household shall be our post

So help us God

None will dare to scorn us
Nor to enslave our children
We will became a mighty host
For under our banner Freedom shall stand
And golden horn will sound the way

So help us God

We won’t forget what Poland stands for
We won’t extinguish the flame
Poland’s honour and her proud example
Shall be always our pride
We shall restore her glory
And her royal grace from ashes

So help us God


IS

Torq

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #1 on: 3 years ago »
Looks all right. I would only change "race" to "tribe" in the first stanza.

Ironside

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #2 on: 3 years ago »
Looks all right. I would only change "race" to "tribe" in the first stanza.
Nah tribe is something else than a race and we are talking about "ród" - it is not a tribe, I understand that in the present it can be perceived by  the lenses of PC but first off I don't care and secondly the poem is question had been written over 100 years about. If somebody has any issue with the word race, they should go and read some Kipling.


What do you think BB?
IS

Torq

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #3 on: 3 years ago »
It has nothing to do with PC, but with historical and textual accuracy--in the original we have "królewski szczep piastowy" (not "ród" as you seem to think), and "szczep" is much better rendered by "tribe" than "race", so it's "the royal tribe of Piast".

bzibzioh

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #4 on: 3 years ago »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIDq7vDXpE0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIDq7vDXpE0</a>

What about "the line" like in this YT version?

This song could hardly be a Polish anthem nowadays; too much anti-German sentiments. Angela would pop the vessel.

Ironside

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #5 on: 3 years ago »
It has nothing to do with PC, but with historical and textual accuracy--in the original we have "królewski szczep piastowy" (not "ród" as you seem to think), and "szczep" is much better rendered by "tribe" than "race", so it's "the royal tribe of Piast".

The poem's intensions is much better expressed by the use of "race", and closer to the way Anglophones read those words.
IS

Ironside

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #6 on: 3 years ago »
This song could hardly be a Polish anthem nowadays; too much anti-German sentiments. Angela would pop the vessel.

As I have already said it's translation of words, not ideas. Babbling something about Germans, Teutons and grandson. In 1905 people were writing this way, they were full of synonyms, allegories and all that stuff of reading between the lines.
Even today Poles hardly know what that Rota is all about.
I think my version is expressing better the idea and spirit of that poem/song.

Sure, you can agree or not, you can say it.
IS

Mr Grunwald

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #7 on: 3 years ago »
This song could hardly be a Polish anthem nowadays; too much anti-German sentiments. Angela would pop the vessel.

As I have already said it's translation of words, not ideas. Babbling something about Germans, Teutons and grandson. In 1905 people were writing this way, they were full of synonyms, allegories and all that stuff of reading between the lines.
Even today Poles hardly know what that Rota is all about.
I think my version is expressing better the idea and spirit of that poem/song.

Sure, you can agree or not, you can say it.
Angela wouldn't pop anything, just watch "Czarne Chmury" as Germany nowadays isn't even close to what Prussia was and the line of thinking in those days. More closely related to Nazi's Teutonic order then to modern day Germany. Poland copy-catted some thing like the goose step, but Poland is still Poland not Prussia.
Golden heart, barks when has to

bzibzioh

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #8 on: 3 years ago »
This song could hardly be a Polish anthem nowadays; too much anti-German sentiments. Angela would pop the vessel.

Angela wouldn't pop anything, just watch "Czarne Chmury" as Germany nowadays isn't even close to what Prussia was and the line of thinking in those days. More closely related to Nazi's Teutonic order then to modern day Germany. Poland copy-catted some thing like the goose step, but Poland is still Poland not Prussia.

I have no clue what are you talking about here; you are all over the place.

Mr Grunwald

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A new version of "The Oath" in English
« Reply #9 on: 3 years ago »
I have no clue what are you talking about here; you are all over the place.

it's almost like our little fight with PF really when I think about it. Love the Oath  ;D
Golden heart, barks when has to